Awareness by Anthony De Mello
What I’m trying to get out of this book
I read an excerpt that talked about depression, and it seemed like it had some valuable insights. When I find it I’ll put it here. But the concept was that you’re only depressed when you’re allowing yourself to be pre-occupied. Happiness comes from losing yourself. I thought that was true, and useful, and I wanted some more.
I feel like I also recognized that I’m a little… occupied with myself, and I want to figure out how to not think of myself so much. As much. I know it’s an issue, because I’m here, blogging, perhaps the most thinky-about-onself one can be. How can you not, though!
On the difference between self-absorption and self-observation
“But self-observation–watching yourself–is important. It is not the same as self-absorption. Self-absorption is self-preoccupation, where you’re concerned about yourself, worried about yoursel. I’m talking about self-observation. What’s that? It means to watch everything in you and around you as far as possible and watch it as if it were happening to someone else… It means that you do not personalize what is happening to you.”
Sheesh what are we doing here. What if I am worried about myself. What if I am unsure if I am going down the right path. If I am not spending enough time with people I love. If i am taking for granted the moments in my life that are already beautiful. If I am not seeing the colors in the sky or the way the grass blows in the wind? What if I am working every day at a job that I don’t really care about. A part of a company that does good work, but would I do it…. for myself? By myself? Would I start this company, even if it made me not that much money? How do I integrate the things in my life that actually need some attention while not constantly obsessing with self-improvement or self-???-whatthefuckarewedoing???